Goals are funny things. We think they will help, so we kind of fixate on them. We gain a vicarious kind of energy from them, but that energy doesn’t always translate into the actions we need to take to attain them. We’ve all heard people say, “My goal is to lose 5kg,” and then never do anything about it. Or they start and don’t follow through. Some people have great successes with goals. But they’re like New Year’s Resolutions. More of us seem to fall by the wayside than succeed with them. Or we attain them briefly then fall back into the mire, only to make a new goal and claw our way up the same slippery slope again. And again.
Goals seems substantial, but in reality they are ephemeral. Values are another story altogether. Although you also can’t touch, hear or see them, they are an intrinsic part of who you are, as opposed to a goal which is a kind of outside, made-up influence. If you ignore your own little creatures of the night (I say that because some values don’t see the light of day much!) they will still be there but they will be vague ghosts lurking uncomfortably in your subconscious, and their unhappy fragility will keep them forever sidelined; cut off from being a powerful entity in your life.
Bringing them out into the light of your consciousness changes all that. Living by your values puts your ducks all in a row. There’s something just RIGHT about your life. All your decisions, and therefore your actions, are in sync with your inner being and you have, for the first time in your life, an inner peace. Even if you don’t know where you’re headed, you feel surefooted. You don’t need to look to other people or other people’s solutions because you are living your solution. No matter what happens you can feel totally secure in yourself.
How good would that be? I’m not there yet, but I believe it can be done. I could sit and cogitate on my personal set of values and decide that every single decision in my life was going to be made on that basis. But what I’ve found is that really, only one thing can be done at any time. So let me think about one value and really hone in on it and what it means to me in specific circumstances so I can build up my strength in that area.
One of my core values is integrity. To me, that is a foundational state which operates from a place of honesty without unkindness. The word makes me think of structural soundness, wholeness, a deep cognisance of what is morally right.
From that base, I craft the kind of life I should live, remembering that my personal belief system will colour my thoughts and subsequent actions.