I’ve never really been one for making new year’s resolutions. An unrealistic list and an arbitrary date seem to me the ingredients for almost instant failure. Lose weight. Stop smoking, drinking, procrastinating—whatever. Get a degree. Fly to the moon.
Rather, the idea of life resolutions is appealing to me. Deciding who you are and tailoring your day-to-day decisions to your higher values.
But last year I was in the mood to be a lemming and jump off the same cliff as everyone else. The only thing is, January is already a busy month for me. Why add to my stress levels starting something that I’d probably drop within the first fortnight? So I decided to make my resolution actionable in March. When thoughts of my resolution crossed my mind in January and February, I could simply think about what it was I wanted to accomplish.
I like the idea of March. My schedule is a lot freer and even the month’s name makes you think of energy and resolve. March. Quick March!
Last year my resolution (I decided to have only one even though of course I had other accomplishments planned for other avenues of my life) was to start going to a gym regularly. I would give it a year and see how I went, with a view to keeping the activity as part of my life for the foreseeable future—until I was an old, old lady at least! In January and February, I was happy simply to think about it. Was I serious? When would be the best time of day to go? How much would it cost? Could I afford it for the whole year? Did I need some kind of schedule or plan so I would I stick to it? What was the first thing I needed to do that would start the process of making this happen? (It was simple—make a phone call and book an appointment.) Thinking and questioning consolidated in my mind that I did want to do it and highlighted some of the possible problems I might have sticking to my resolution.
I’m coming up to 12 months and can see how wise it was, for me at least, to limit my resolve to just one commitment. It doesn’t mean I haven’t done myriad other things in the year, just that this one was a promise to myself that I wanted to keep for the sake of my health. It wasn’t to pump so much iron by such-and-such a date or lose x amount of weight or any other competition with myself—or anyone else, for that matter. The goal wasn’t to get a specific result. It was simply to go to gym regularly. I immediately succeeded in my goal (nice feeling!) and after that the process pretty much took over. The goal had done its job and could sink slowly in the west. I am now the kind of person who does a little gym circuit three times a week. And I feel good about that.
Now again in January, I’ve made my one resolve for the coming year. I can plan, dream, take tiny steps toward and psychologically prepare myself from now to March. My resolution is to start having considerably more raw, natural foods. I want to take my health to a new level. A nice broad resolution, but how do I make it specific? What are the ‘doing’ steps? I’m going to buy a high-powered blender, a fairly costly exercise which I’m looking at as an investment in my health. Whenever I think about it, I can gather another healthy recipe that I can use when March 1 comes around (or try it out with my existing blender). I can find out where to buy certain foods that I want to add to my intake—seeds, fruit and vegetables that I may not eat raw much now. I’ll plan where I’m going to put the machine, as it will be staying out on the kitchen bench. I’ll work out where in the fridge and pantry I’m going to store the different foods I’ll be buying. When am I going to use it? Breakfast smoothies? For making vegan sauces to go with dinner? Either? Both? Daily?
This is the dreaming stage. Why hurry it? It’s very pleasurable. But I believe it also trains my mind along a certain trail so that when I do undertake the change it will seem totally natural. I will have prepared my mind and my home space for something that will be a permanent part of life from now on. It’s a seamless approach where the doing just grows out of the thinking. And a beautiful thing has happened without any effort from me. The magic date is still in the future but I am already doing extra small, daily actions that are created almost automatically because my subconscious has started working for me and my chosen starting point. I am becoming the person I want to be, even before I really start.
I admit there is a danger in this plan. Dreaming without ever doing is delusion. Sometimes when you’ve stumbled across an idea, the time needs to be now—while the idea has power—not a couple of months down the road. Ideas have energy but the longer you wait the less energy they have. They seem to develop from full blown enthusiasm … to half life to … nah, not that interested after all. So we all need to recognise which path is right for our particular situation at that particular time. The delayed start programme will definitely not seem sexy enough for some or satisfy those who want to make sweeping changes now. Still, with this in my mind it’s amazing the resources I’m finding and the enthusiasm I’m feeling. It’s a kind of building up. Excitement’s too rich a word but I’m sure you get my drift. A rocket can’t take off until the motor has been on for a while and it’s absolutely ready to roar.
For me, this time, it’s not about having a specific goal past the very broad one of getting healthier. It’s about creating an achievable process. Success is in the doing, every day—not some far-fetched result in the future.
So my original January thought might be that I want to lose weight. I might start out number crunching how much weight I need to lose or how many calories I should eat and put a date on when I want to to have successfully accomplished my goal. But by the time I’ve spent a little time and allowed more clarity into my thinking, that original idea has been turned virtually inside out. I choose a date to start, not finish. And weight loss is the byproduct, not the goal. What I’m actually striving for is healthier eating on a daily basis. It’s a process of being, now—not achieving some time in the future. And once I’ve done my bit of dreaming and I start actualising my resolution, I have already succeeded—today, not a date somewhere in the future.