On those years when I do manage to make a new year’s resolution at all, invariably the resolution pops its head up a couple of months after everyone else has made their time-honoured list … and probably even broken or forgotten some of their promises. And perhaps because I come late to the table and the resolution seems to choose me rather than the other way around, I have just one resolution.
This year my resolution comes to me nearly half a year late. I certainly can’t be accused of being an early adopter! And for someone who uses 10 words when one will do, I think it’s ironic that I can find one word to describe my entire resolution. Last year it was light. This time, it is kindness.
Such a simple word, yet such a vast impact that it could have on all our lives if we were to internalise what it is to be kind.
With kindness as our foundation, we can make the people around us happier and more secure. Think about how you would feel knowing that someone close to you was never going to lay blame, find fault in a carping way or simply say something just to be a bit mean. Being the recipient of kindness is certainly not a burden!
Now think about being the person from whom the kindness is emanating. You are set free from worrying about whose fault something is. The kind way needs no opinion on that but can immediately steer towards a positive outcome, dealing with the situation with a gentleness that makes everything easier.
I am in a life situation now where kindness would be a wonderful trait to have and of course the realisation quickly follows that any situation can be made better with kindness.
For me it means slowing down a little, being more thoughtful on a moment-by-moment basis, being present and responsive to the person I want to be rather than unconsciously saying whatever pops into my mind. Over time, I am sure that better words will come to me of their own volition but at the moment I need to train them. And I need to become comfortable with the little hiatus that will surely occur between my habit-driven thoughts and words … and those of the higher self that I now want to choose.
I have many, many moments in the day when I can use my resolution and I’m sure that if I can get to that place where kindness is my automatic response rather than the occasional impatience, frustration and even damped-down anger, I will have experienced a wonderful inner growing that will brighten my existence as well as that of those around me.
There is a sort of dark satisfaction in being quarrelsome and critical. You can make an art form out of being judgemental, and if you’re cleverly articulate in your opinions it can all become quite addictive. But if that whole strand was missing from the tapestry of your life, the space would be filled with something softer, gentler, lovelier. The milk of human kindness.